;khizaan (autumn)

Learning how to ride a two-wheeler is not exactly the kind of thing one likes to do in the month of January in the damp, chilly city of Delhi. Living in a strict household that doesn’t really get on with one delaying matters over and over and having a strong urge to go to exotic places far far away from reality are the only two reasons which persuade me to tie my shoelaces, cover myself from head to toe and hop on the scooter as my father drives to the nearest “acceptable”place so I can learn and fall down and learn to not fall down and learn some more.

                                    ***

This has always been my favorite part of the city. One would understand my love for the empty, levelled roads of Dwarka if they live in pseudo-industrial areas as I do. I do not find small scale shops at every nook and corner around here, nor is there any ‘all-time building’ construction site with all its equipments and dozens of people working at unhygienic conditions with a handful amount of those who have no better jobs but to stare at you all day long or that dust which fills up the entire atmosphere along with bricks and raw materials filling up the entire street. There are small apartments down here, you know the ones this generation claims to like, you could invest in these properties and it’s proven they always give you a great interest, you can turn these petty little studio apartments into houses and live the whole of your monotonous lives in these *homes* , away from those big bungalows and fields that were ‘ a thing of the past’, but it doesn’t matter really, not that much at least, there are absolutely no comparisons between the two different set of lifestyles, but I think I could safely say that these service lanes on the side of these apartments sometimes do provide you with the same freedom, and help you breathe the same air of independence and importance and a little bit of pride that you feel in the lush green and yellow fields, with the same sweet mist you feel on your cheeks while you are savouring the taste of a sugarcane on the side of a road from some unknown field at some unknown place for some unknown sense of trivial happiness.

My mind is filled with tons of random thoughts and I am trying hard to concentrate as the ice cold air strikes my face and it feels as if my hands are freezing, I am shaking, but I have to balance. This is the third time I am driving and I am determined not to fall down today.

Ed sheeran’s thinking about loud is playing in my head and I am thinking about some sweet and sour moments that have happened in me within the past few years. 

It’s an easy drive, not that I am a pro or anything but the road is levelled, and at most places, empty, there’s bits of obstacles in the form of moving cars and motorcycles coming my way one time or the other, but what’s a ride without that even worth? The road becomes abruptly sharp at the cut a few metres away from where I usually turn, I do not recognize this area for some reasons, and feel more than excited to know what lies in store ahead of the turn,

I am thinking about going further the turn, and I am driving fine, looking up at times, just noticing the autumn leaves falling and the trees being all prepared for a new life, the sun is going down slowly, and the city lights are slowly increasing, isn’t the view splendid?

I turn again and somehow manage to fall down, I think to myself when I am done cursing if I should go beyond the turn, for what’s it worth , there might even be a huge tractor coming this way ending my journey with the scooter once and for all, 

But as I said before, I am determined not to fall down, well I wouldn’t like it literally either, but there’s nothing a bottle of alcohol and a couple of bandages can not heal, and I cannot let the fear of the unknown define me anyway,

I decide to do it. I put my hand on the accelerator and ride on to my highest of pace, the dusty road here is filled with little pebbles and loads of leaves with colors of sunsets shining even more at dusk,

Of course, one cannot expect something magical to happen just by taking a simple turn, but trust me reader, I am not entirely disappointed. There’s a whole flock of pigeons flying just above my head and I just park the scooter aside, this is all so crazy and beautiful, I watch as a train passes by, and the onlookers at the pathway look at me and the other vehicles passing nearby curiously, but for just this while I do not care.All these people stuck in those cubicles they call their offices and all these driving back or to are not and might never realize just what they are missing. I sense my cellphone vibrating, it must be a call to get back, I sigh deeply and just embrace myself in the sight for a few other moments,

As I sit back on the ride back home, I feel the lights shining a little brighter , I might have not let myself down after all, I breathe a little easier, I sleep undisturbed that night for a change.

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